Muffled Tears
by Anyu Matsuri
Summary: Koizumi was gang-raped, and was having a trauma. Not good with summaries. Present for a friend :D
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers:** I do not own TMoSH, or any of its characters; Tanigawa Nagaru-sensei does.

**Warnings:**Non-consensual rape, BDSM, graphic sex, yaoi. Enough said. This is weird; it's the first time I actually wrote something like this.

This will be, as always, an ItsuKyon story. But this time Koizumi is a victim of a group rape. Kyon learns about this, and then helps. I don't know? Just read. I've typed this before the actual story itself, so, hehe?

**Muffled Tears**

Each kiss weighs down on my personal ego, knowing for the fact that if anyone gets wind of this I'm sure to be ridiculed, despised, or worse, pitied. Being tied to a table leg and getting your ass fucked by two men at the same time isn't the best feeling; I'm stretched, twisted, and pushed to the limits until white trail marks look as if it had seared my skin and the table top as my hips buckled.

I can hear their laughter as they slipped out of me and another batch goes in.

I had consented on a one-man sex on this guy that I met by the dark streets near my home. H e looked sane enough for me to trust and have sex with him. After all, this is just a one-night stand that I had to have to forget all the things that I don't want to remember.

But it is **not** a one-night stand. I had been having sex for about a day at least before they finished with me.

Slowly the throng of people huddled around me disperses. After a few minutes almost everyone had gone away, except for two men. The first two men that raped me.

They were laughing; one of them was the person I originally intended to sleep with. They were looking at me as if they've thought of something good. But as I was waiting for the hits to come, my hands broke free from their bonds. Looking surprised and at the same time wary, I turned to the two men. They both look good, except for this weird kink they have, together with their friends.

"Hey, we took off the bonds, so you must do it yourself."

Said one of the two, and suddenly grabbing my face near to his. I can faintly smell cigarettes and alcohol on him; the other one just looked at the two of us. Knowing I cannot do anything but to consent, I just closed my eyes as I descended my head to his crotch. Pulling down on his zipper and taking the buttons of his jeans, I took out his erection.

Slowly I licked his tip, with one of my hands cupped into his balls. Occasionally I would give attention to his balls, but most of the time I was concentrating on his erection. After a few more sucking and licking I felt him going hard against my hand. And at the end, he pushed my head forward with his hands, leading me to swallow his cum that had oozed out on my mouth.

As I was gasping and trying to spit out all the cum in my mouth the other one pulled me into his erection too. And without anything—not even a bit of licking and stuff—his cum flowed mercilessly into my mouth. The guy I sucked of earlier was now licking at my ass, his tongue thrusting to my hole like an erection would. Feeling altogether swollen and aroused I let out a thick moan, which was seconded by a raspy gasp when he entered. My mouth stayed glued to the other guy's erection as the both of them kept on thrusting on my holes; on my mouth and on my ass.

They were both into it as their movements escalated; and after some time I felt the unfamiliar feeling of cum being ejected on my back. My mouth flowed with cum once more, and I did not even try to swallow it anymore. Instead, I threw up. I can hear their laughter as I collected myself and tried to sit up and wipe at my mouth.

One of them threw a fat envelope towards me. Before I could even ask them, he looked at me stupidly.

"That's your pay for now. If next week you get better with your moans, then we'll increase it to a hundred or so."

Without even hearing my retorts about the case, I was thrown with something small and rectangular. Looking at it with the horror plastered on my face, I saw that it's my school ID.

"Don't even try to escape us, or we'll tell everyone about your 'job'. And lookie here, a video cam! So, **don****'****t****ever****try****to****escape**."

Feeling the dread that was washing over me, I know that I cannot escape anymore. So starting then, every weekend in fact, I had to submit myself to these perverts and have my assed fuck by not less than 20 hours at least.

After many sessions with them, I slowly felt my own sanity slipping away. My only hold to reality and to sanity is Kyon. Kyon does not know; I DON'T WANT HIM TO KNOW!

After a month the calls for me stopped without me knowing the reason why. But I was already destroyed. Their taunts and my fears combined are too much. I know I cannot take it in as much as I could have before.

I was left open, gaping for the flies to come eat my innards. And sanity.

Kyon was the only person. Yet my hold on Kyon is getting weaker. Until one day, when the two of us were alone, I felt my hand slipping away from the hem of his sleeves. I was crying; I don't want to fall down to a crazy abyss of my own emptiness. This is seriously destroying me, and Kyon is here, watching me get cut into pieces.

My mind went blank.

**XxXxXxXxX**

Koizumi and I were left at the clubroom. Haruhi and the girls went shopping for costumes. Haruhi will just use Asahina-san to get free costumes; I know that.

I repeatedly threw glances at Koizumi's direction because he appeared really distressed and out of it. As I had observed, he had been like this for over a month already. And even I don't know the cause. Heck, I don't need to know the cause! Who cares about it anyway?

I was then surprised by a loud ringing coming form Koizumi's direction. When I turned I saw Koizumi staring wide-eyed in front of his phone his hand that clutched the phone was trembling. Surprised I walked towards Koizumi, and taking a firm hold on his shoulders, I shook him to try to snap him out of it.

But all my efforts were useless as I saw Koizumi's hand release the phone and let it fall into the floor, eventually causing the phone to break into two. Apparently the ringing stopped, but Koizumi's situation only worsened with a look of horror etched on his face.

I slapped him hard when he could hear my voice anymore. Instantly he turned to me, his eyes carrying a blank look. It was then that his tears fell and his voice trembled, telling me everything that had happened.

I never knew that he had liked me ever since, and that he was frustrated with his love for me. He knew that if he told me all about his feelings I would push him away. Of course I would, but then it's natural. I'm not homo.

What shocked me wasn't his declaration of love, but the events that happened after that.

It was told to me in detail. And Koizumi, still looking at me blankly while his tears fell continuously from his eyes, continued with his stories.

"…And then they made me come to the warehouse every week to have sex with me. They pay me, of course, but I want it to stop. After the first month they stopped calling. I thought that they got tired of me. But then, they came back. And I didn't answer the call…"

It was then that Koizumi really burst into tears, his head falling down into looking to the floor and not to me.

"…Kyon… I don't know what to do anymore… I want this to stop; I don't want this to come out…I'm scared! Help me!"

I, seeing how helpless Koizumi was, pulled him into a hug. As Koizumi continued to cry, I just rubbed circles on his back, eventually trying to calm him. Koizumi's continuous sobs lasted for long, and I was just there, pulling Koizumi as close as needed be. I do not know what good it will do Koizumi now that he had been harassed in the worst way possible. The ordeal left Koizumi a 'living dead'. Everything, even his words, is so empty it will even fit inside about a hundred or more people.

I don't get why Koizumi started selling himself. He doesn't look someone deprived of anything; if he was, he can always ask! Selling oneself is as bad as it can be, but what can I do for him?

Then a thought passed my mind. Thinking that it would be best if I do that, I pulled Koizumi away from me for a while, before I made my lips go near his slightly trembling ones…

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Author****'****s****Notes:**This is for you, SakuraDrops141, my promised present for you~ Continue writing about and supporting the ItsuKyon pair!

Okay guys, this is not my original idea. It was a kink meme (is that right?) on ItsuKyon fictions. I changed it a bit; the one-man rape is now a gang rape. Poor Koizumi. And then there are also BDSM. BDSM is always present in rape, of course. There's nothing vanilla-y on rape! And it's non-consensual rape. And Koizumi here actually had sex in order to forget his feelings for Kyon, yet he didn't expect to get harassed like that. And that's when Kyon comes to the picture.

It was so hard to post this because I don't want anyone knowing me personally to read this because this is seriously graphic! But this is for SakuraDrops141, so I had to endure everything! I didn't have difficulty writing this though; I had already pictured the situation and replayed continuously in my mind.

I hope you all liked it. There's a second chapter, though I don't know when I'll finish it.

Read and review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers:** I do not own TMoSH, or any of its characters; Tanigawa Nagaru-sensei does.

**Warnings:**Non-consensual rape, BDSM, graphic sex, yaoi. Enough said. This is weird; it's the first time I actually wrote something like this.

Flashback: (This will be both brief and weird) Koizumi was gang-raped and had to consent to a weekly basis of sex just so he could protect his own image and name. After a month the calls for him stopped, yet it was only short-lived. When the time came for Koizumi to be "called" once again, Koizumi broke down in front of Kyon and confessed everything, even his own feelings for him. But Kyon does not hold anything for Koizumi; what he feels for him is only pure friendship. But then as he saw Koizumi trembling and crying in his arms he cannot resist the urge to pull him away and kiss him…

**Muffled Tears**

As the breaths grew lagged and breathy, our throaty gasps were all that can be heard as our lips grew close to each other. Koizumi apparently had frozen in his position before his lips touch mine and I did not made any move to close the distance between us either. With both of our eyes staring intently to one another's lips I can feel the frustration pouring out from Koizumi.

It was then that I was pulled to his face.

As the lips crashed together, meshed with each other and each tongue melted all the giddiness away, we can hear each other moaning passionately into the kiss. Koizumi's hand tangled itself around my neck and one gripped my hair, pulling me much closer to him. I used my tongue, and as I support his trembling back from falling, the kiss grew more headed, more passionate, until I felt him start pulling me away from him.

I consented, not because I wanted to, but because I thought that I might aggravate his situation. As he had told me earlier, he had been forced into having sex with a bunch of men quite older from him by about two to five years, and this has forced him to develop a sort of a PTSD, though the source only triggered it by having itself known to the person once more. Koizumi's PTSD seems to be making him act apathetically and withdrawn from reality itself. His thoughts would seem in the air, and so does his actions. He was merely staring and crying at the same time that I cannot distinguish whether his sense of emotion is still innate in his body and mind during his PTSD's attacks.

As soon as our lips were pulled away from each other, Koizumi looked away and was red, as if he knew that there was something wrong that he had done. And due to his seemingly pessimistic side, I knew that he was thinking that I might have hated him or anything else. But seriously, I'm not. I understand what he's being through. So whether he kisses me or not, as long as it's not done in the presence of other people, then it would not bother me. And if it helps him to kiss me, then I would do it for his speedy recover.

Koizumi sat back on his collapsible seat, both his hands falling limply on his sides. As his head drooped down like a scolded child, I went near him and tried (at least!) to soothe him in my own way, which I know does not work well in situations such as this. Koizumi does not look up until a few minutes later, with much wiping of the eyes that were cruelly red from crying.

It was a few minutes later that the girls would arrive. Upon arriving at such a tensely-atmosphered room even Haruhi did not try in the very least to ask the both of us what happened to make the room seem so stuffy. The girls had with them lots of shopping bags full of frilly pink costumes in different designs. It seems Haruhi already had a movie plot in mind (which I deeply doubt, as her story always end up having no direct storyline ever) which would be obviously a sequel for the "Adventures of Asahina-san" movie. But the story of the movie now, is still in the shadows. At dusk the meeting was abruptly ended and we all made our way homes.

At the usual juncture near the both of our homes, Koizumi and I both say goodbye to each other just like everyday. Every single time the meeting ended and all of us had to go home, the two of us would start walking away from the girls, who all lived in the opposite direction. Side-by-side we would walk like a pair, until the usual stop where we would start waving goodbye to each other. And it was always like that, even though there were no classes and the brigade just met up due to Haruhi's selfish whims.

We always separate by the juncture near our homes.

I had never been to Koizumi's house, and I'm sure Haruhi might know where his house really was but has not been there. I doubt about Nagato-san or Asahina-san ever coming to his house for a visit, but Nagato-san might know where he stays. But all I ever know was that he lived near me and that he was supposedly alone.

But it had only been hours after his attack had ended. And if he was assaulted at his own house (as his attackers apparently knew where his school and house is), I ran to his already walking figure and grabbed his arm. He immediately got rigid at my action. Well, he might have thought that I will jump him.

"K-Koizumi, do you want to stay at my house for today?"

Koizumi, who had been trying so hard to pull his arms away by both his hands and words, stopped all movements abruptly, his eyes widening in both surprise and fear. After a while I had not said anything and just kept on pestering him to come with me. The realization only sink in when I noticed him turning bright red form my words. Was it of effect to him? Or was he having his attack once again?

"It's n-not what you think it is! I'm not thinking of doing it with you! I just want you to stay at my house for your own safety. They're going to look for you at your house, right? Well, you can stay there how long you may want. My parents sure won't mind."

With the words of reassurance coming out of my mouth Koizumi only turned back to me, his eyes wavering a bit, yet still held on to some strength he had left. About ten minutes had passed before he smiled back to me and said yes.

…It has been ten days since, and Koizumi was still staying at my house, without ever coming back to school before his attackers had been caught.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Author****'****s****Notes:**I've just noticed; there are a lot of typos on the first chapter! Sorry, I'm really stressed at the time that I never noticed. This time, sorry for the stupid end and what-else. I just realized that it was already long that I cut it then and there, so it became like this.

I started on the kissing scene! Oh well, this looks unresolved so I'd have to post a third chapter. I'm sorry about the description of the kiss. I was reading Japanese, Filipino and English all at the same time that the words are jumbled in my head. Everything is looking alien to me right now. Ah, about the kissing scene, I was reading various references that are in Filipino and in English. One was queer lit, an anthology, short stories, and the last is an encyclopedia. Well, it's hard to just base them from words, but I can't try and ask anyone gay about their private sex lives now, can't I? And if ever I had close relations who were (well, I have a gay uncle, cousin, and also a friend), I can't just ask them candidly now, right? Strictly speaking, no one knows about my hobby quite except for my little sister. (For the slow update, sorry SakuraDrops141!)

By the way, who knows Mousou Shoujo Otaku-kei here? It's also known as Fujoshi Rumi. Hahaa, I just remembered, I look so much like Rumi (particularly the hair and glasses) with the body of Matsui/Matsun/Miss Gomaki. The manga is available to read in mangafox if you're interested. It's a bit rated, but its okay. A bit of skin won't hurt anybody. Also Medaka Box is good! Ah, normalness is also awesomeness~ It's been so long since I've read het manga. The last was Yankee-kun to Megane-chan, Fujoshi Rumi, Assistant-san to Manga-ka-san and Elevator. For yaoi, try the Cold Series of Narise Konohara! I've been trying to translate the Japanese copies I have (they're all that I had find), and so far I've finished the first book! Well, it was really good! I'm thinking of buying a printed material sometime soon.


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